A new year has arrived and considering my absence of late, I’m not sure how much longer I intend to keep up this blog. The kids are getting older, and I feel like I should probably give them more privacy, and in all honesty my interest in keeping things up has waned a bit. I go back and forth between how much I want to share on here, and when I feel as though I have to omit things, it just feels false. I haven’t even really picked up a camera lately and in general, I once again find myself in that place of uncertainty.
2017 was much like any other year with highs and lows and so much in between. There was growth, boundaries were tested and pushed, I found passion in a new hobby and started to find myself again. There is only so long you can push who you are further and further down beneath the surface before that part of you demands to rise up for air – much the same as when you push thoughts or emotions away and at some point you must meet them and hopefully are prepared.
Time will tell.
I can’t say for certain what 2018 will bring, but it is my hope that it is a year that I will look back on with joy and fondness, which means I’d better figure my shit out and make it that way. I know many people choose a word for their year, and generally I don’t because… well, I just don’t. If I were to choose a word for 2018, though, I would go with BRAVE because I want to live bravely this year. I want to take more risks and continue to grow.
It’s actually funny, but the last time I had such an emotional breakthrough was 10 years ago and boy was that a hell of a year (admitted myself into in-patient treatment and then met Josh a month later). So… maybe 2018 is going to be the year, after all.