Category Archives: fish

Unsolved Mysteries – The Death of Tom Selleck

I suppose I should state the obvious and clarify that the well-known actor Tom Selleck has not died, but rather his fish doppelgänger.

It all began a few weeks ago when we (Josh) got a larger fish tank.  So, when you get a larger fish tank, you obviously have to buy more fish, right?  Everything seemed to be going swimmingly (har har) until about a week ago.  If this were a true crime drama, it would be now that ominous music starts up.  Just a few days ago we found Bagooie floating at the top of the tank… WITHOUT EYES.

While it’s not terribly unusual for fish to eat one another (apparently, I’m told) we’ve never had this happen before, so the discovery was a tad disturbing.  Because Bagooie was one of the original fish we bought, we didn’t think too much of his passing and life continued on. Until… Pizza (a bright pink fish) was swimming around and it became apparent that she? he? Was missing an eye.  Someone had actually eaten her/his eye while he/she was ALIVE.  Clearly a sociopath is at work and we began to question whether or not Bagooie’s death was truly accidental.

The plot thickened yesterday when poor Tom Selleck was found belly up.  Tom was my fish and had been really healthy, so his death was very sudden and unexpected. Now, there was a very unfortunate accident that occurred when Josh forget to put the sensor for the heater into the tank after he cleaned it, so it’s possible he overheated?  If that’s the case, though, why are all the other fish fine?  Does Josh have a vendetta?  He is, after all, the one who keeps finding them dead.  Or is it perhaps Chuck Norris, our very small Red-Tailed shark (not an actual shark)?  Is it one of the larger fish?  Who is this murderer in the night?

To be continued… when the killer is caught.

And, no, Vega is not a suspect… though I’m pretty sure she wishes she had been the one to get the fish.

This can only mean one thing…

Well, we have fish now, so that can only mean one thing… our next pets will be bunnies.  I have spoken and it will be so.  I mean, we might as well just add to our craziness, right?  Okay, not right away, but it’s happening!  I need fluffy little bunny friends in my life.  Did I also mention I suffer from extreme cute aggression?  It’s true.  Elmira is my spirit creature.


Anyway, where was I going with this?  Oh yeah!  We have named the fish, and they are actually doing quite well (as in, no one has died).  The kids are still excited about them and love getting to feed them and give commentary on all of the fish’s actions.


In case you can’t read their names, we have:

Patooey – Phoebe’s choice

Bagooey – Enzo’s choice

Tom Selleck – My choice, which was inspired by my fish’s mustache.

Lord Fishington III – Josh’s choice… need I say more?  His fish also had a mustache, only more snooty.

So, there you go.  Happy Friday everyone!