Just Keep Swimming…

I probably should be repeating this over and over this week.  I figure it’s fitting since we just watched Finding Dory and this week has been a rough one, so I should probably remind myself to breathe more and Let It Go.  If Josh was here he’d probably help me with more Disney puns.  It’s been a stressful past week and the kids were thrown off by a few things, as well as Josh and I.  I think we all just want everything to get back to normal.

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Two weekends ago we pulled the bouncy house outside, which thrilled the kids for about 15 minutes.  It was pretty hot, though, so I’m not surprised they didn’t last too long.  I wish all days they could play as well together, but they have two very different personalities and they’re each going through various developmental stages.

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Quite often there is fussing and whining and “Enzo hit me” or “Phoebe took my toy” which is what I’m guessing he’s saying since really all I hear is high-pitched screaming.  We’re really working on the yelling/screaming lately.  Enzo’s first response to frustration or outrage or embarrassment is to scream and yell and now Phoebe is starting to do the same.  There are some days when I think my ear drums will burst.

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His moods are rather like the tide.  He’ll have several good days or a great week and then suddenly something sets him off and it can be hard to get through the rough days and back on track.  Phoebe’s shenanigans are no help either as she’ll do things that are naughty and laugh at the negative reaction (like her brother freaking out).  Parenting is so exhausting.

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There are some days where we are able to just laugh the chaos off because some things are just so absurd and ridiculous and exasperating and I’m trying more and more to laugh rather than cry.  I don’t know if I’ve told this story yet… but Phoebe can’t be trusted to be left alone – at all.  I left her in the bathroom on the toilet for maybe 15 seconds and came back to find that she had unrolled half the roll of toilet paper. There was just this massive pile of toilet paper on the ground.  I got her off and then Enzo came in saying he needed to pee, so I got her out of there and told Enzo if he needed toilet paper to just grab some from the pile since I needed a minute.  Well… I walk back in to find him with the huge wad of toilet paper in his hand blotting himself and not stopping him in time before he  dropped it all into the toilet.  I was pretty much speechless… it had been a long day and Josh legitimately thought I had lost my mind when I walked out of the bathroom and just threw my hands up in the air and started laughing hysterically.

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They do have moments of sweetness, which are so hard to remember during those rough times when they try your patience and push every single button they can.  I’m trying to really respond to these moments, though.  Josh spent two nights in the hospital and Enzo cleaned up his floor a bit without asking for which I praised him greatly and he told me he’d take keep me safe while Josh was gone.

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I guess we’ll just have to keep each other safe and do our best to get through each day.  I call a do-over on this past week, and the great thing is that like I tell Enzo we can choose to start-over and try to have a better day.  We choose how we react and we can choose to be mad/sad/frustrated all day or we can choose to accept that what’s done is done.  I may have “failed” in my mind as a parent this week, but I can do my best to turn that around.  I always make sure that I tell my kids I love them and apologize when I make a mistake as a parent. Tonight my plan is to start over.

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