There is a definite chill in the air lately and I have a feeling we won’t be turning the A/C on again until next year.  It’s cool enough that opening the window works just as well, and makes the cats happier.  My office, however, is more than chilly and I will be pulling the space heater out sooner than I’d like.  It is October, though.  How is it October?  It seems like just yesterday we were in our pajamas having an impromptu water fight on the deck on a random Saturday morning… but, I guess that was a couple of months ago already.

When you’re a kid, time just crawls and then suddenly it starts passing so quickly you can barely catch your breath. I’m an introvert, so introspection is just par for the course, but I’m uncertain as to whether it’s just the impending winter blues or something else that has me lost in thought and procrastinating so greatly and having anxiety over how little time there is and what I should be doing with this time.  Of course worrying about what I should be doing means I get nothing done at all, so it’s not exactly productive.  I’m in one of those states where I want to do something, but I’m not sure what exactly and just feel tired and decide it’s not worth it to worry about it now and put it off and then keep putting it off.  While taking a break from a schedule was nice, I think I should probably get back into some kind of routine again rather than just winging it every morning/evening. Oh, but that first step is always so hard.

Actually, it would be less hard if I could stop falling asleep when putting the kiddos to bed and if I could get started on more things before 8:30.  It’s hard to convince myself to workout at 8:30pm and even if I wanted to in the morning, I have a difficult time prying Phoebe off of me to allow me to do so.  Sleep is hard to find lately, and I have to remind myself that it’s all temporary.  One day the bed will feel empty without two small bodies snuggling closely together or to whichever parent is nearest.  I can’t help but smile when I crawl into bed and see Phoebe draped across her brother and at least one or two cats purring happily.

I’m not sure if it will ever feel like time is slowing down again, though, so I suppose I’ll have to get used to the feeling that I can’t always keep up, or continue to try and simplify our lives more in the hopes that it will give us more time.