Category Archives: parenting

American Swedish Institute

We knew we had to get out when we heard we were going to have some nice weather coming our way, so we figured we might as well do something new. I have a list of supposedly family-friendly places, so for this outing we chose the American Swedish Institute. The website showed at least one kid-friendly exhibit and a place to eat, so we figured, why not?

The ASI is contemporary and modern, while the Turnblad Mansion is historic and stately. Thanks to renovations, all floors of the mansion are easily accessible whether you have a wheelchair or in our case a giant stroller. We were also thrilled to see that there weren’t many people when we arrived.

The main exhibit while we were there was Nobel Creations which featured all kinds of displays all inspired by Nobel Laureates. Admittedly, we were more interested in the mansion itself, but some of the exhibits were intriguing.

It was definitely the ideal setting for two small kiddos. Just a handful of visitors (in the beginning) and we didn’t have to worry about bumping into anything or toddlers getting into too much trouble. They were both fairly agreeable and let us wander around. I may have been a tad obsessed with the fireplaces.

There was also the most beautiful stained glass window.

They also had a table set up featuring the Nobel porcelain, which was as refined as one would expect if they were to attend such a dinner.

There was so much beautiful detailing everywhere, and we realized we had actually missed a few rooms, so we’ll have to go back again. I’ve gotten used to having to visit places multiple times now, though. Kids are just kind of distracting, so we aren’t always able to spend as much time perusing.

The kids started getting squirmy right as we reached the third floor, which was thankfully where the child friendly exhibit was located. We were the only ones there with kids, so we had the run of the place, which was also really nice.

Josh was also able to get some of the wiggles out. Museums tend to make him fidgety. 😉

Alas, after setting munchkins free, they did not wish to be confined again. We let them roam for a bit, but more visitors were arriving and we began to have trouble keeping our young hooligans from getting underfoot.

We decided to finish up our tour and head down to the cafe, where we got several looks from other patrons and our server acted somewhat surprised that we would be staying. Thankfully I had some snacks to keep the kiddos busy, but overall they were really well behaved. Another thing you get used to as a parent, though, is receiving the stink-eye now and then. I’m not going to let other people stop me from introducing our kids to new experiences or keep Josh and I from having a good time. We always try to be good patrons and clean up after our kids and not disturb others, so when the kids did start to get a bit loud, I took them outside to run around while Josh took care of our bill. I do wish we lived in a country where overall children weren’t seen as such a nuisance, though.

Anyhoo, overall it was a fun little excursion and we’re looking forward to more outings this summer. I’m hoping we can hit up some new destinations with our little buddies.

Cupcakes and Balance

Let’s get straight to the point… I like cupcakes and most treats that aren’t particularly good for you. I know from a health standpoint I should limit my sugar intake, but that just seems like so much trouble and not much fun either. We have tried to get healthier over the years – once Enzo turned 6 months old I knew I didn’t want to feed him junk and that I wanted to give him a good start. So, for both kids we have tried to limit artificial flavorings and artificial dyes as well as preservatives. In the beginning I bought only organic treats/snacks and kept Enzo away from sugary baked goods until he was a year old and even then limited it a lot.

We’ve eased up on strict food rules with time. While the kids still eat mostly healthy snacks it’s not organic all the time. I don’t make a meal from scratch every night and the kids often eat Earth’s Best frozen waffles or french toast sticks. We give them fruit and veggies aplenty and stick to whole grains, but yeah, we do give them some junk. I used to feel guilty (thank you mommy forums and the internet), but I’m not as hard on myself anymore.

Maybe it’s the wrong reasoning, but I know I grew up on worse and I’m perfectly fine. My family is generally pretty healthy all things considered, and we’re happy. One of my favorite ways to treat myself just happens to be with a cupcake… sometimes it’s even one of those cheap grocery store cupcakes, and I let my kids join in on the fun. I’ve decided it’s all about balance. I figure a cupcake or a cookie won’t undo all the fruits and veggies and actually good food the kids had, plus their eyes light up (much like mine) when I say the word “cupcake.”

Admittedly, I haven’t made as much time lately for exercise or other things thanks to a mental fog that is finally lifting, but now that I’m starting to feel better I’m hoping I can fit in some workout time amidst all of the many projects on various lists. Also, we’re going to have to start some major sleep training with Phoebe who is pretty much sleeping in our bed ALL the time. I was fine with her coming to bed in the early morning hours, but now she’s started waking up only a couple hours after putting her down (9:30ish) during Mommy Time, which means I have to stop what I’m doing and generally end up taking her to bed with me so she doesn’t wake her brother up. Plus if Enzo is fighting bedtime, he may not go down until 8:30, leaving a short window of time to get personal and/or house stuff done in the evenings. Working out has definitely not made my list of priorities lately… but cupcakes? Oh yeah. Wine? Most definitely.

Mario, Where’s My Coffee!

Almost every day brings new random things with the kiddos, and along with that comes fun new phrases. Lately Enzo’s imagination has been soaring and he’s at that fun age where you have to watch you say, not that we’ve had anything embarrassing come up… yet. So, from the mouths of the munchkins some of the latest:

Enzo:

“Tatty Tale” Learned at day care. I can only imagine who tattled on who.
“It’s too dangerous.”
“Mario! Where’s my coffee!” Random line from his favorite movie right now (The Chipmunk Adventure). Why this line? We may never know… but he does a great impression.
“Absolutely not.” He used this on me last night when I told him he needed to help clean up. Absolutely not, indeed, little man.

Phoebe:

“Memo” (Elmo)
“Bubbo” (Bubbles)
“Bitsy” (as in Itsy Bitsy Spider)
“Eh-zo” (Enzo)
“Mine”
“Yeah”
“No-no”

Phoebe has been trying to copy everything you say, so her vocabulary is really starting to take off, which is so much fun. I think Enzo is enjoying it as well, although sometimes he gets tired of her saying his name or things like “Hi” over and over again and he will tell her to stop or say “No (insert word here).”

Ignore the garbage and mess in the above picture… sometimes we randomly give up tasks (like cleanup) halfway through in order to wrestle or perform some sort of acrobatics on the kitchen floor on a whim. Having two talkative toddlers is sort of like having tiny dictators at times and sometimes I just give in when they’re demanding fun over responsibility.

The Highly Sensitive Person (or parent)

It was around Thursday on our trip that Enzo’s tantrums started to get extreme – some of the worst he’s ever had, and that night was not an easy one. Friday night would prove to be even worse, but we won’t get into it. We were all tired and both kids were just ready to get home to their own beds. This isn’t the first time we’ve encountered major mood swings with Enzo, though.

When Josh used to have to travel for work, if he was gone for longer than 3 days, Enzo would start to get really cranky and start having more intense tantrums than usual. He’s always had intense emotions, and that’s when I started looking into whether or not he’s a Highly Sensitive Child at the suggestion of a coworker. It turns out he may take after me, as I definitely have the characteristics of a Highly Sensitive Person (I scored 20/27).

“A highly sensitive child is one of the fifteen to twenty percent of children born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to everything. This makes them quick to grasp subtle changes, prefer to reflect deeply before acting (hmm… maybe not so much), and generally behave conscientiously. They are also easily overwhelmed by high levels of stimulation, sudden changes, and the emotional distress of others. Because children are a blend of a number of temperament traits, some HSCs are fairly difficult–active, emotionally intense, demanding, and persistent–while others are calm, turned inward, and almost too easy to raise except when they are expected to join a group of children they do not know. But outspoken and fussy or reserved and obedient, all HSCs are sensitive to their emotional and physical environment.” The Highly Sensitive Child

Granted, we could be completely wrong (there are some things on the checklist that are not him at all), but it seems to make some sense considering his moods get very extreme when there are major changes in his environment and he often gets very upset over seemingly small things. It’s definitely tricky because he’s also at an age where most toddlers/pre-schoolers often have tantrums over random things and can easily be set off by hunger or not enough sleep, so my biggest question is what is considered “normal” and what would be considered “extreme.”

I have definitely discovered a lot about myself in just the past week, though, and have come to realize that quite often Enzo and I set each other off because we both feed off each other’s emotions and are often sensitive to the same things, but react in different ways. As an HSP, I can definitely say that the hardest part of parenting for me is the crying/screaming. I am very sensitive to loud noises and they make me very uncomfortable. At times, such as the past week, they are unbearable and that is when I tend to lose it and become slightly irrational and fly off the handle and I hate to say it, but basically have my own tantrums. So his tantrum sets me off, then my reaction sets him off some more. It’s taking a long time to try and figure this all out. Almost every day lately he has at least one bad tantrum. I’ve been able to stay mostly calm for the past couple days, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Little Phoebe gets so upset when she sees her brother upset and it breaks my heart that he is struggling with his emotions and the world around him right now. So…

We are starting therapy/counseling. I’m not an expert, but it does seem like something is off, and there must be a better way to parent him. I know you should never compare your children, but when I look at the difference between Enzo’s tantrums at 15-16 months and Phoebe’s… there’s a definite difference. I would love to be able to help teach Enzo how to calm down in the moment and not let so many things upset him, so we’re (Josh and I) going to do whatever we can to learn how to communicate better between the two of us and in turn figure out the best way to help our kiddo.

(At 16 months old)

That being said, it’s not all bad being a highly sensitive person. I found several websites that focus on the advantages of being highly sensitive rather than the difficulties, and it’s always nicer to hear the positive than the negative, right?

The ability to concentrate deeply
Notice subtleties
Good at tasks requiring attention, accuracy and speed
Able to process material at deeper levels
Able to learn something new without being aware of learning it.
Highly conscientious
Highly empathetic
Creative/Visionary
Intuitive
Soulful/Spiritual

In reality, being highly sensitive is something I consider a strength overall. We all have something we struggle with and have to work at, so my “curses” are just something I have to learn to deal with, and if Enzo is truly the same, we’ll have to learn how to cope and work together. We can’t go through life avoiding everything that makes us uncomfortable or challenges us (and boy does parenting ever challenge you at times).

Links

http://introvertdear.com/2014/10/18/highly-sensitive-person-advantages/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-wachter/advantages-of-being-highl_b_6141146.html

http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/beyondblue/2010/03/5-gifts-of-being-highly-sensit.html

http://coachingwithchristina.com/12-benefits-of-being-a-highly-sensitive-person/

I will never wash another bottle again.

I can’t remember when exactly Enzo gave up his nighttime bottles, but it was probably shortly before Phoebe was born. We were settling down for our nighttime routine and when I offered him his nightcap, he just sort of shrugged and shook his head. I’m not sure what exactly made me decide to try and see if Phoebe was ready to give up her bottles or not… she’s pretty attached to her baba.

When we got back from vacation, though, I gave her a sippy with some milk for our nighttime snuggles and she was okay with it. So, there you go. Granted, there are nights where she gets downright mad that I’m offering her a sippy instead of a bottle, but overall she’s gotten used to it and soon she won’t need it at all. While it may not seem like a big deal, these moments and milestones can be so bittersweet. How can she be growing up so fast?

Maybe that’s why I haven’t been as keen on making her stay in her crib all night and haven’t given a thought to toddler beds or other things that will push infancy further and further behind us. Enzo was in a toddler bed by 18 months, I think – mostly because he showed readiness and was much happier. We knew Phoebe was on the way, so we also knew that bedsharing with him wouldn’t be feasible. While I don’t mind snuggling my kiddos, they are both very active sleepers and would only keep each other (and us) awake all night. I do know that Enzo gets a tad jealous when he realizes that Phoebe has been sleeping with us, so it is probably an arrangement we will need to change soon.

Ugh, they’re growing up so fast, which is both awesome and hard. I’m not a fan of the sassiness and tantrums that come with older toddlers/preschoolers, but I love how imaginative Enzo is and that we can share in things we couldn’t before. I’m grateful that Phoebe is still a snuggler and while I try to keep her a baby as long as possible, each day is exciting as she learns new words and attempts to copy her brother.

Dino and Bunnies

Every day adventures