Category Archives: toddler

Mario, Where’s My Coffee!

Almost every day brings new random things with the kiddos, and along with that comes fun new phrases. Lately Enzo’s imagination has been soaring and he’s at that fun age where you have to watch you say, not that we’ve had anything embarrassing come up… yet. So, from the mouths of the munchkins some of the latest:

Enzo:

“Tatty Tale” Learned at day care. I can only imagine who tattled on who.
“It’s too dangerous.”
“Mario! Where’s my coffee!” Random line from his favorite movie right now (The Chipmunk Adventure). Why this line? We may never know… but he does a great impression.
“Absolutely not.” He used this on me last night when I told him he needed to help clean up. Absolutely not, indeed, little man.

Phoebe:

“Memo” (Elmo)
“Bubbo” (Bubbles)
“Bitsy” (as in Itsy Bitsy Spider)
“Eh-zo” (Enzo)
“Mine”
“Yeah”
“No-no”

Phoebe has been trying to copy everything you say, so her vocabulary is really starting to take off, which is so much fun. I think Enzo is enjoying it as well, although sometimes he gets tired of her saying his name or things like “Hi” over and over again and he will tell her to stop or say “No (insert word here).”

Ignore the garbage and mess in the above picture… sometimes we randomly give up tasks (like cleanup) halfway through in order to wrestle or perform some sort of acrobatics on the kitchen floor on a whim. Having two talkative toddlers is sort of like having tiny dictators at times and sometimes I just give in when they’re demanding fun over responsibility.

16 Months

I won’t do these monthly posts forever (probably stop at 2), but considering all of the little changes that can occur in just a month, it’s fun to keep track of for now.

While Phoebe has always liked talking/babbling, it seems like her language and communication skills have exploded this past month. She tries to repeat everything and will go back and forth with you while she attempts to voice what she is seeing. She loves to point out things around her and is always eager to learn new words. We’ve also learned that there are certain words we have to be careful about mentioning like breakfast or dinner… or anything relating to food unless you have food ready to give her because she does not like waiting.

Along with mimicking words and gestures (like blowing kisses), Phoebe is also big on doing things herself, or at the very least giving it a first class effort. She especially likes to put her socks and shoes on by herself… the only problem being that she hasn’t exactly got the dexterity to do that yet. Needless to say, things can be frustrating for her as she tries to get her fingers to do what she wants them to.

She still has her nuk, but we’re hoping to do things differently with her than with Enzo. We hope to phase out Enzo’s nuk soon (our counselor/therapist said we should wait a bit) and when we get rid of his, we are going to severely limit Phoebe’s nuk use or get rid of it entirely. As for sleep… well, as of now she is currently in her bed maybe 3 hours a night, sometimes more. We’re still in the habit of pretty much giving up once she starts crying around 11ish or so and just bringing her to bed with us so we can immediately go back to sleep. I wish I had blogged more with Enzo so I could remember if this was a phase or not.

We all love our lady and her silly grin and winning personality.

The Highly Sensitive Person (or parent)

It was around Thursday on our trip that Enzo’s tantrums started to get extreme – some of the worst he’s ever had, and that night was not an easy one. Friday night would prove to be even worse, but we won’t get into it. We were all tired and both kids were just ready to get home to their own beds. This isn’t the first time we’ve encountered major mood swings with Enzo, though.

When Josh used to have to travel for work, if he was gone for longer than 3 days, Enzo would start to get really cranky and start having more intense tantrums than usual. He’s always had intense emotions, and that’s when I started looking into whether or not he’s a Highly Sensitive Child at the suggestion of a coworker. It turns out he may take after me, as I definitely have the characteristics of a Highly Sensitive Person (I scored 20/27).

“A highly sensitive child is one of the fifteen to twenty percent of children born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to everything. This makes them quick to grasp subtle changes, prefer to reflect deeply before acting (hmm… maybe not so much), and generally behave conscientiously. They are also easily overwhelmed by high levels of stimulation, sudden changes, and the emotional distress of others. Because children are a blend of a number of temperament traits, some HSCs are fairly difficult–active, emotionally intense, demanding, and persistent–while others are calm, turned inward, and almost too easy to raise except when they are expected to join a group of children they do not know. But outspoken and fussy or reserved and obedient, all HSCs are sensitive to their emotional and physical environment.” The Highly Sensitive Child

Granted, we could be completely wrong (there are some things on the checklist that are not him at all), but it seems to make some sense considering his moods get very extreme when there are major changes in his environment and he often gets very upset over seemingly small things. It’s definitely tricky because he’s also at an age where most toddlers/pre-schoolers often have tantrums over random things and can easily be set off by hunger or not enough sleep, so my biggest question is what is considered “normal” and what would be considered “extreme.”

I have definitely discovered a lot about myself in just the past week, though, and have come to realize that quite often Enzo and I set each other off because we both feed off each other’s emotions and are often sensitive to the same things, but react in different ways. As an HSP, I can definitely say that the hardest part of parenting for me is the crying/screaming. I am very sensitive to loud noises and they make me very uncomfortable. At times, such as the past week, they are unbearable and that is when I tend to lose it and become slightly irrational and fly off the handle and I hate to say it, but basically have my own tantrums. So his tantrum sets me off, then my reaction sets him off some more. It’s taking a long time to try and figure this all out. Almost every day lately he has at least one bad tantrum. I’ve been able to stay mostly calm for the past couple days, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Little Phoebe gets so upset when she sees her brother upset and it breaks my heart that he is struggling with his emotions and the world around him right now. So…

We are starting therapy/counseling. I’m not an expert, but it does seem like something is off, and there must be a better way to parent him. I know you should never compare your children, but when I look at the difference between Enzo’s tantrums at 15-16 months and Phoebe’s… there’s a definite difference. I would love to be able to help teach Enzo how to calm down in the moment and not let so many things upset him, so we’re (Josh and I) going to do whatever we can to learn how to communicate better between the two of us and in turn figure out the best way to help our kiddo.

(At 16 months old)

That being said, it’s not all bad being a highly sensitive person. I found several websites that focus on the advantages of being highly sensitive rather than the difficulties, and it’s always nicer to hear the positive than the negative, right?

The ability to concentrate deeply
Notice subtleties
Good at tasks requiring attention, accuracy and speed
Able to process material at deeper levels
Able to learn something new without being aware of learning it.
Highly conscientious
Highly empathetic
Creative/Visionary
Intuitive
Soulful/Spiritual

In reality, being highly sensitive is something I consider a strength overall. We all have something we struggle with and have to work at, so my “curses” are just something I have to learn to deal with, and if Enzo is truly the same, we’ll have to learn how to cope and work together. We can’t go through life avoiding everything that makes us uncomfortable or challenges us (and boy does parenting ever challenge you at times).

Links

http://introvertdear.com/2014/10/18/highly-sensitive-person-advantages/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-wachter/advantages-of-being-highl_b_6141146.html

http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/beyondblue/2010/03/5-gifts-of-being-highly-sensit.html

http://coachingwithchristina.com/12-benefits-of-being-a-highly-sensitive-person/

I will never wash another bottle again.

I can’t remember when exactly Enzo gave up his nighttime bottles, but it was probably shortly before Phoebe was born. We were settling down for our nighttime routine and when I offered him his nightcap, he just sort of shrugged and shook his head. I’m not sure what exactly made me decide to try and see if Phoebe was ready to give up her bottles or not… she’s pretty attached to her baba.

When we got back from vacation, though, I gave her a sippy with some milk for our nighttime snuggles and she was okay with it. So, there you go. Granted, there are nights where she gets downright mad that I’m offering her a sippy instead of a bottle, but overall she’s gotten used to it and soon she won’t need it at all. While it may not seem like a big deal, these moments and milestones can be so bittersweet. How can she be growing up so fast?

Maybe that’s why I haven’t been as keen on making her stay in her crib all night and haven’t given a thought to toddler beds or other things that will push infancy further and further behind us. Enzo was in a toddler bed by 18 months, I think – mostly because he showed readiness and was much happier. We knew Phoebe was on the way, so we also knew that bedsharing with him wouldn’t be feasible. While I don’t mind snuggling my kiddos, they are both very active sleepers and would only keep each other (and us) awake all night. I do know that Enzo gets a tad jealous when he realizes that Phoebe has been sleeping with us, so it is probably an arrangement we will need to change soon.

Ugh, they’re growing up so fast, which is both awesome and hard. I’m not a fan of the sassiness and tantrums that come with older toddlers/preschoolers, but I love how imaginative Enzo is and that we can share in things we couldn’t before. I’m grateful that Phoebe is still a snuggler and while I try to keep her a baby as long as possible, each day is exciting as she learns new words and attempts to copy her brother.

California Dreamin’ Part 2

Wednesday was the warmest day of our trip, and we started the day off with a walk. The kids were waking up around 5:30-6:00 each morning, so around 9:00-10:00, Phoebe was generally ready for a little nap. Enzo got to play on a playground and tip toe in the sand while I found shade and let our lady nap on my back.

Wednesday was also the day that Josh and I went whale watching courtesy of my mom and step-dad. We went on a catamaran, which promised to have a really smooth ride that would cause less seasickness, and only held about 6 people. I loved it. There were a few moments where I felt a little fear creep in (hello, out in the ocean on a tiny boat), but overall really enjoyed it. It was a gorgeous day.

Josh also enjoyed it, but more so after he puked and was done being seasick. While the great thing about a catamaran is that you don’t have as many people on the boat, we also didn’t quite as close to the whales as I would have liked and it was really hard to get pictures with the constant movement. It was still an amazing experience, though, and a beautiful day. We were also lucky to have a great captain and friendly passengers with some really good conversations that got me thinking… a lot.

Thursday morning brought more exploring, and yummy coffee and treats, but also made it apparent that Enzo was definitely missing his routines and was not getting enough sleep. Phoebe was able to still get her naps in just fine, but Enzo has always been harder to get to sleep anywhere but his bed.

Since the kids had gone to the beach the previous day while we were whale watching, we thought Thursday would be another good day to stay close by and venture out to the pool. Phoebe was not a fan of the water (it was a tad chilly) and while Enzo did dip his feet, stood on the steps, and let us hold him briefly in the water, he decided that his dream to swim like a turtle could be put off for a while.

With Enzo’s mood being a little off, we found it best to just enjoy the nearby beaches and fantastic weather and just walk around. Both kids preferred being able to walk everywhere instead of driving around, so the California weather made both of them very happy. Phoebe could often be found running to the door demanding to go somewhere and now knows exactly what “outside” means.

Granted, while there was plenty of time outside, they also made themselves perfectly at home in the rental condo. We actually rented some things from Toddler’s Travels to make things just a tad easier (booster seats for eating at home, some toys, bed safety rails, etc.). While we could have probably managed without, it really did make things easier and was totally worth it.

On Friday we went to visit with Randy’s parents – one broken duck and lots of yummy snacks later we headed to a park for Enzo and kind of played the rest of the day by ear. Our little traveler Phoebe probably would have been up for anything, but poor Enzo was just still not himself after lack of sleep and a disturbed routine. Saturday brought a busy morning of packing and tidying up, but thankfully we were able to sleep in for quite a while.

We made it through security in great time – hardly any lines anywhere only to find that our flight was delayed half an hour, which thankfully gave us even more time to have lunch and get some wiggles out. The gates next to ours were completely empty so the kids were free to run and run and run.

The flight home definitely felt longer than the flight to California, but only because Phoebe couldn’t quite get comfortable. Enzo fell asleep on my lap, so of course as soon as that happened, Phoebe decided she needed to be on my lap and we had to keep her from throwing a tiny tantrum and kicking her brother. Josh ended up walking her around a bit and we did what we could to keep her happy. No one was happy when we felt that first bit of cold weather, but we all managed to make it home and get to bed at mostly reasonable hours. The week since has been interesting, but we’re doing what we can to get things back to normal. Vacation is always so hard to come back from.

Dino and Bunnies

Every day adventures